I have been looking in my mirror a lot lately and some areas of my life are very painful. I always felt very alone and helpless in some areas of my childhood. My grandparents and my mom knew, but all they ever did was console me following a very hard whipping.
I can remember very angry whippings from my dad when I was near first grade and they continued until I was 17 years old. It seems I would do something that would just set my dad off, he would get very angry and whip me very, very hard. I would go to my room and weep and cry until I could hardly breath. A few times I cried until I vomited. My mom would usually come in and hug me and tell me she loved me. A couple of times mother actually told daddy there was no use whipping me so hard.
I am now 65 years old and the deep feelings of why I was whipped so many times has never left me. Actually, over the years I have hardly spoken of this subject, but it is part of my life story. My grandparents knew, but in the 50’s no one interfered. I always felt my dad was a good man, but something about me made him loose it.
I was 17 yrs. old the last time my dad whipped me over the back and hips. We were washing a car together and actually having fun. He was teasing me by flinging water on me. I thought this was fun and I sprayed him a little. Before I knew it, daddy was coming at me yelling and hitting me across my back with his hand. I tried to run and he hit me harder. I knew in my heart that I was not going to take this anymore.
I went home and told mother what had happened. I packed my school book, clothes and went to Granny Woodrum’s house where I stayed for several weeks. I remained at Granny’s and calmed my spirits and found peace from being there.
Many years later….after I was married and had grown children my dad asked me to forgive him for all the things he did to me. He had a heart attack and perhaps thought he was dying and maybe he had though about all this stuff for years. I did tell him I would forgive him and wondered exactly what he meant when he said “all those things I did to you.”